You’ve been chosen as the best man. You’ve helped with the planning, kept the groom on schedule, and made sure the rings are accounted for. Now there’s just one small task standing between you and the dance floor: the best man speech.
If public speaking isn’t exactly your favorite activity, don’t panic. A great best man speech doesn’t need to be a comedy routine or a 20-minute walk through the groom’s entire life. The best speeches are personal, sincere, appropriately funny, and most importantly, focused on the couple.
Here’s how to write a best man speech guests will actually enjoy.
How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?
A good best man speech should generally be about three to five minutes long.
That’s enough time to introduce yourself, share a meaningful story, talk about the couple, and finish with a toast without losing the room.
When in doubt, shorter is usually better. Wedding guests would much rather hear four memorable minutes than a 15-minute autobiography!
What Should a Best Man Say?
Not sure what to say in a best man speech? Keep the structure simple:
- Introduce yourself and explain how you know the groom.
- Say something meaningful about your friendship.
- Share one or two appropriate stories.
- Talk about the couple and what makes their relationship special.
- Wish them well and raise a toast.
Your speech doesn’t need to be complicated. Genuine usually beats elaborate.
How Do You Start a Best Man Speech?
Start by introducing yourself, especially at a large wedding where many guests may not know who you are.
A little humor can work well, but don’t put pressure on yourself to open with a huge joke. Something warm and confident is often better.
Once you’ve introduced yourself, briefly explain your relationship with the groom before moving into your story.
What Stories Should You Include?
The best stories reveal something positive about the groom—his loyalty, sense of humor, generosity, determination, or maybe even one of his harmless quirks.
Choose stories that are:
- Easy for everyone to understand
- Relatively short
- Appropriate for all generations
- Funny without being embarrassing
- Connected to the person he is today
Remember: you’re giving a wedding toast, not delivering material at a roast.
What Should You NEVER Say in a Best Man Speech?
This is where a little editing goes a long way.
Avoid stories involving exes, drunken disasters, inappropriate inside jokes, embarrassing secrets, or anything the groom wouldn’t want discussed in front of grandparents, coworkers, and his new in-laws.
Also avoid jokes at the expense of the bride or partner.
A useful rule: If you’re wondering whether a story crosses the line, leave it out.
Should You Mention the Bride or Partner?
Absolutely.
One of the most common best man speech mistakes is spending four minutes talking about the groom and 20 seconds talking about the person they just married.
Talk about what you’ve noticed since they became a couple. Maybe your friend is happier, more confident, more adventurous, or simply found someone who understands him perfectly.
Addressing both newlyweds turns a funny speech about your friend into a meaningful wedding toast.
How Do You End a Best Man Speech?
Finish with something sincere.
You might share a wish for their future, say what you admire about their relationship, or simply tell them how happy you are to celebrate this moment with them.
Then invite everyone to raise a glass and deliver a short toast to the newlyweds.
Simple. Warm. Memorable.
How to Give a Best Man Speech Without Getting Nervous
Practice it out loud several times before the wedding. Reading something silently and actually saying it in front of a room are very different experiences.
Bring a few notes rather than trying to memorize every word. Speak slowly, look up at the couple and guests, and remember that everyone in the room wants you to succeed.
And yes, you should write your speech before the cocktail hour!
One Small Part of a Very Important Job
Giving the best man toast may be the most public part of the job, but there’s much more to being there for the groom before and during the wedding. Check out our Duties of a Best Man: A Simple Guide for a complete look at what may be expected of you.
At The Society Room of Hartford, we’ve heard plenty of best man speeches over the years, from laugh-out-loud stories to heartfelt tributes that leave the entire ballroom reaching for tissues. The ones guests remember aren’t necessarily the fanciest. They’re genuine, personal, and celebrate what everyone came together for: two people beginning an incredible new chapter together.
So write it down, practice a few times, raise your glass and enjoy your moment!